I take some fan mail and answer some questions

Weight: 243.6
Exercise: 4 miles, weights
Food: Jimmy Johns #12 with no mayo or cucumbers, pickle, brushetta chicken, couscous, a beer

Question... How do you get away with farting on a treadmill?
Answer... There really isn't a good way.  You just put on the headsets, turn it up to 11 and let it rip

Question... What do you do if someone doesn't wipe the sweat away after using the equipment?
Answer... I don't know, I usually leave before the guy after me does anything

Question... What is your best trick to burn calories?
Answer... lighter

Weight: 245.6
Exercise: Check this out... Went to gym
Food: Banana, grapes, apples, pickle, pistachios, jimmy john sub with no mayo, water, spaghetti

Great to be back on track with the whole gym thing.  It just feels good when you walk out of the gym covered in sweat, your body exhausted.  It just feels good. 

Tonight my body is exhausted\relaxed, my confidence is higher and I had a kick ass day today at work.  Life is just good.  So I want to be in the 230's before August.  It is totally doable. 

So today at the gym this is what I did:  Ran for 30 minutes, Chest press, back lift, pulled that T-bar down, planks for like 2 minutes and squats.  When I get the file I will post it so you can see my workout. 

OHHH.. So icing. There is this game that only guys can play.  Object of the game is to trick the other guy into finding a Smirnoff ice.  If they find it in front of you they have to get down on one knee and chug it no matter what the situation.  So you cant just run up and say "I got a Smirnoff you gotta drink it".  It has to be presented in a creative way.  If the person that you "ice" has a Smirnoff ice within reaching distance, then you have to drink two of them.  It sucks.  Girls play a similar game called "Busching" but its with busch light. 

Want to play?

Drunk....

Weight: 247 blah
Exercise: Check this out... stretched, did plank, 30 on elliptical, 30 on tred mill, mowed the yard, pulled weeds, swam in a pool
Food: coffee, egg on bread, pizza, turkey kilbosa

So it begins.  The gym membership is going to work out.  Its like a fresh start.  Oh yeah... I'm drunk right now.  WOOOOO HOOOOOO.  yuengling.  sorry for the spelling errors, I'm not going to bother to fix it.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF BROS ICING BROS?!?!?!?!

Best game ever.... will explain more tomorrow.

Did I quit already????

Weight: I promise tomorrow
Exercise: Stood around a lot
Food: Burger (homemade), sweet potato fries, 2 bananas, a ham sandwich, pistachio nuts

Sorry Sorry Sorry....  I know its been like a week and change.  My bad.  There was a death in my family and I had to go out of town to Kentucky.  So while I am being honest, Kentucky has lots of fattening foods and since my wife and I were on the road, we didn't eat super healthy.  Have you ever had a Monte Christo?  I did for the first time and its amazing.  Its ham, cheese and turkey... DIPPED IN BATTER... then deep fried.  How could anyone not try one? 

So I ate shitty.  So tomorrow is the rebirth.  I actually got home Wednesday and since then I have been eating okay.  Not really working out because I had a lot of work to catch up on, but I promise... the work out resumes.  I got a gym membership at the local gym.  $15 a month.  Pretty good deal.  I will take my weight tomorrow and have a recap of what the deal is....

Missed you.
Captain

WEIGHT: 247.2
EXERCISE: played disc golf
FOOD: coffee, English muffin with turkey bacon,  Pei Wei mango chicken, pizza

Yeah yeah yeah... not a good food day but I am still down from last Friday. 

So I played disc golf today.  If you haven't played, I highly recommend it.  Just google search disc golf in your town, go to a play it again sports and buy a disc for $7 and go have fun.  ITS FREE!!!!  Great exercise and the price is right.  I threw pretty good today.  Went with a good buddy from church. 

Got in an argument today about whale wars.  Someone was STRONGLY against the fact that I support the Japanese.  I told her that if I had the opportunity, I would put whale in a blender with some bananas and make a smoothie.  Then I would throw a harpoon at the lady.  She didn't like that. 

OK... I have four followers and one is my wife.  My wife says that I have to join other blogs to get people to follow my blogs.  There has to be another way.  So I think maybe if I put up controversial posts people will start to follow....

So here is the questions of the day...

ABORTIONS... your thoughts?

Where the hell did the 4th go???

WEIGHT: Last time I checked 244... I know right??? I will give you a better answer tomorrow
EXERCISE: Everyday by the pool either swimming or kickin it
FOOD:  What didn't I eat?  I did try to manage small portions.

So I got to watch fireworks, drink ice cold beer, tan and spend time with my family.  You really cant ask for a better weekend. 

My mother-in-law came to town yesterday.  She brought me two Rocky Mountain caramel apples for the hell of it.  These are the best thing ever.  AND ITS A FRUIT!!!!!   So its healthy right?  Fantastic.  All the stereotypes of hard ass mother in laws is bullshit.  My mother in law is one of the coolest ladies I have ever met.

I don't have a lot of funny stuff to say today.  I am going to work out tomorrow (hopefully) and have a nice healthy day. 

Final note... best show on TV right now... EASTBOUND AND DOWN!!!!!
"YOUR FUCKING OUT, I'M FUCKING IN"

Easy way to cook TUNA

WEIGHT: 247.2
FOOD: banana, coffee, water, 3 doughnut holes, burger, veggies, pizza, 2 molsons
EXERCISE: Walked about 1/2 mile and played in a pool with kids

Yesterday's blog was just hateful towards the Sea Shepherd.  I have already gotten side tracked on the purpose of the blog.  Sooo... eating healthy.  Here is a simple, cheap and fancy meal you can make and look like a pimp.

Sesame Tuna
What you need....

• Sesame seeds
• Sesame oil
• 3 garlic cloves
• pinch of ginger (not the red headed devils with no soul)
• soya sauce
• Salt
• Tuna medallions (if you get the stuff in the can, please leave now)

Here is what you do... to make the drizzle sauce, put equal parts of the sesame oil and soya sauce in a bowl.  Add the pinch of ginger and add the garlic cloves (chop them up big time).

For the Tuna, start off by getting a pan med-hot with sesame oil in it.  Then rinse and dry the tuna.  Little bit of salt on each side, then cover the tuna in sesame seeds.  Get the white and black ones so it looks fancier.  If the pan is hot, sear each side for 40 seconds until it is a very light grey color (or depending if you want it well done).  Plate it, add drizzle on top, eat.  I recommend using sweet potato fries as a side.

I know its late.  Just got done watching Brock Lesner make the biggest comeback ever.  Tomorrow is the 4th and I plan on getting tons of exercise.  Just hope weight goes down.  Let me know if you watched the UFC fight tonight and tell me what you though....

The world is a vampire

WEIGHT:248
FOOD: coffee, regular veggie sub at Quiznos with no cheese and a bag of baked lays, Jr. roast beef at arbys (only 200 calories), tuna, sweet potato fries, garlic bread
EXERCISE:  I stood up for a while and bought some exercise gear if that counts

So tonight is a special night in our house hold.  Its Whale Wars night.  Best intro song ever.  Welcome back to pop culture Smashing Pumpkins.  Is it just me or does anyone secretly route for the Japanese in the show?  I was so happy when all of the Sea Shepherds efforts fail and the Japanese kept tailing the Steve Irwin.  I want the Nisshin Maru to win.  Everybody is upset because of the oil spill and what its doing to our fishing economy, but everyone hates the Japanese for the whaling.  I like tuna, shark, shrimp, crab, pretty much anything that comes out of the ocean.  Whale probably tastes like da BOMB!!!!  I think I am going to reach out to Harris Teeter and see if they can start stocking whale. 

And does Whale Wars really leave us in suspense?  How many times can they cut away to commercial while plowing through ice?  How many times will they lower the smaller boat into the water and cut away because the waves are too rough?  Bullshit.

Paul Watson can kiss my ass.  Yes not all Canadians know each other because if I knew that fat lying bastard I would kick him square in the nuts.  He got shot in the first season??? BULL SHIT!!!!!  Look at the picture below.  How stupid does he look?

Side note... what does throwing buteric acid on the ship actually do?  They have hoses on that boat that could take out a helicopter and they cant wash the deck?  Give me a break.  Plus, why don't they drop things from the helicopter?  Maybe put a spear gun with some dookie on the end and throw it out of the copter.  Put someone aside from the camera man in there and really make a difference.  Paul Watson isn't a captain.  Hes some idiot starving for attention and will do the most pussiest non rebellious thing he can think of in hopes that it makes him look like a badass.  Truth is he literally is a flaming bag of douche that needs to be arrested or harpooned.
Did you not think that Bob Barker looked like a dumbass because the boat he donated was a piece of crap that couldn't get started for 2 weeks?  And then when they finally got it started, it broke down in the middle of the ocean.  The price is right had a new episode every day for like 30 years.  Ask my grandmother.  He could have bought them Rosie Donnell's cruise ship.  That would have scared the Japanese a hell of a lot more then some rust bucket, most dangerous catch, wanna be. 

Price is wrong bitch!!!!

Anyone else pissed they don't get off work for Canada Day???

WEIGHT: 248
FOOD: Banana, some grapes, shit load of water, burger, beans, cole slaw, pizza with no cheese, cup of coffee (decaf)
EXERCISE: Didn't do a damn thing

Here is where I make an excuse for not exercising and eating shitty all day... CANADA DAY!!!! The one day a year its okay to embrace different types of maple syrup and enjoy canadian bacon (code for thick ham). So what if I came home and had a Michael J Fox marathon while cranking up some Bryan Adams and Alanis Morissette. A little too ironic... yeah I really do think.

I could squeeze in tons of additional Canada references but lets take a look at what Canada day actually symbolizes.  .....   .....  I have no fucking clue.  Maybe they got pissed off at the border because they saw how cool US fireworks are so they decided to light their own and called it independence.  Canada history is boring.  How exciting can your country be if its known as America's Attic.

One thing is for sure... I have a feeling that tomorrow mornings weigh in is going to suck.  Plus its Friday coming up and everyone knows that the weekend is the WORST time to lose weight.

WEEKEND=BEER...

But thats why I made this blog.  I am trying to keep it honest and lose weight.  So my goal is to break even or stay under for the weight I post tomorrow.  If I am not too shit faced, I will post Saturday and Sunday.

Have a great Canada Day everyone... crank the Twain up to 11, suck back a Molson and dream of fury beavers.

Side note... thanks to my amazing wife who gave me the power to allow people to comment on my blog.  Be nice.  Or don't, its all good.